Collins Returns Emergency Equipment Himself, Finds New Calling

January 13th, 2012

"I like the globe that flashes red like our Krypton sun but not this irritating noise. Make way!"

The Buffalo News followed up on the dramatic drama that was “County Equipment-Gate” by reporting that the disputed county owned “emergency equipment” that was installed in former County Executive Chris Collins’ personal vehicle has been removed and returned. The removal was done by none other than Collins himself. Apparently, the radio, lights and siren were rather easy to remove, especially since the siren and lights were just on a helmet that he would wear while driving his car and sticking his head out the window…

Collins claims that the radio was rather easy to remove, and as a result, he said he has found a new calling:

“Screw running against Kathy Hochul, I’m going to start my own car radio and speaker installation shop! I’ll bridge your amp to get you more power! I’ll even do remote car starters and alarms! Watch out, Daryll’s Car Audio! Come on down to my grand opening, unless you’re Danny Neaverth Jr: he’s banned from my super-fly car shop.”

Your check’s in the mail, Chris!

Collins, County At Odds Over Coffee Mug

January 12th, 2012

Parting (Mug) Shot

When Chris Collins was Erie County executive, he drank the finest Columbian dark roast coffee that he purchased himself (directly from Juan Valdez), rather than the county provided coffee which he referred to as “rat piss”. But he drank it from an Erie County coffee mug, and now the county wants the mug back.

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Hover-Handed Horse Traders

January 9th, 2012

Horace Horny Horse Rides Again!

Why the hell was Carl Paladino in New Hampshire this weekend? Newt Gingrich might be asking the same question. Here’s another question: “What the fuck is the matter with these people?!”. That last question came from Carl himself, after watching the 342nd Republican debate for the 2012 election. Yahoo News spent some time with Paladino at a Spanish restaurant where Newt was addressing Hispanic voters on Sunday. (The only thing I can imagine Newt was addressing with Hispanics would be something along the lines of “Hey Jorge! Don’t get skimpy with the sour cream!”) Read the rest of this entry »

Sending Out An (NY)SOS

January 5th, 2012

Mixed with love (so the world tastes good!)

Wednesday afternoon saw Governor Andrew Cuomo give his second “State of the State” address. During the opening “mutual stroke fest of love” between all the big wigs, I was put in a semi-catatonic state. As such, my recollection of the speech may be a little faulty. But here all the alleged highlights:

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The Ins and Outs of 2012

January 3rd, 2012

Regressive Rock...

Welcome to the new year! Tommunisms was going to do a “look back” feature, but many Tommunisms pieces were exclusive to WNYMedia.net last year, and they are currently not accessible since their site revamp. Well, this year, every Tommunisms post will be featured on Tommunisms.com in addition to it’s syndication at WNYMedia. The tagline for 2012 is “Tommunisms: All Potshots, No Solutions”.

So instead of the “look back” cliche, let’s use the other tired idea of doing “Ins & Outs”!

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NFTA To Be Saved By “The Honeymoon-Lighters”

December 21st, 2011

"All aboard the FAIL bus!" with Henry Sloma, Kim Minkel, James Eagan and Eunice Lewin, to name a few...

Rather than raise the $1.75 fare, so that people who need transport to work can get to their jobs, the commssioners at the NFTA decided to make painful cuts to the local transit service, as The Buffalo News lays out.

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