The Boner Seen 'Round the World...
NBC News is reporting that dick-tweeting NY Congressman Anthony Weiner will resign from Congress, ten days after he acknowledged the so called “WeinerGate” scandal was true. (The New York Times first reported his resignation, but because they have a weird internet log-in/paywall scheme going, they can go pound sand.)
Insert phallus-based joke here...
What a dick…
First off, here’s a little general advice for the male gender: nobody wants pictures of your junk. An impromptu survey of females revealed to me that getting a picture sent to them of a man’s boner just isn’t that desirable in most contexts. Plus, ever since Clinton’s blowjob, toe tapping Senators who totally aren’t gay, Foley’s IMs , Elliot Spitzer’s whore-renting and Chris Lee’s Jersey Shore audition, there should be a bipartisan political playbook on how to handle getting caught during such escapades. Instead, we get WeinerGate…
Already looks better than the John Goodman movie...
The Flintstones turned 50 this year, so how about a porno? Yabba Dabba Don’t! Too late…
Nut Shot...
Photographer Mark Pain looked like he was in a world of hurt when Tiger Wood’s ball came slapping into his camera lens. Golf ball, that is….
You complete me...
…And by “gay” we mean “happy” as in “happy to prevent the repeal of ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ by leading the filibuster against the entire defense authorization bill” Tuesday. That bill also included the DREAM Act, which would give young undocumented immigrants a chance for citizenship by joining the military or enrolling in college. He’s gotta be gay about stopping that, because he called the act a “blatant and cynical attempt to galvanize the Hispanic vote”. So apparently there are no immigration issues needing attending to in Arizona, eh, John? And thwarting a good idea just to spite your political opponents on the other side is better than what’s best for the country, John?
Frank Zappa, I know you’re dead, but help me out here about bald-headed John…
Morrie's Wigs Don't Come Off!
WTF?! Newsbites returns, with some more headscratchers; just don’t knock off your ridiculous toupee in the process!
