August « 2011 « Tommunisms

Archive for August, 2011

Breaking: Steve Jobs Resigns as Apple CEO, activates “Endgame Protocol”

Wednesday, August 24th, 2011

Suckers!

Apple CEO Steve Jobs announced his resignation as CEO of Apple late today, announcing he has activated the “Endgame Protocol” which will render all Apple products (including the popular iPhone and iPad devices) useless. Said Jobs:

“Without my active guidance and wisdom in running this company and the innovation I foster, might as well destroy all the overpriced shit you bought. Although a visionary genius, I’ve always had contempt for the average consumer, and hope you all realize how much you relied on one man to satisfy your gadget needs, and the distraction from the real problems we as a civilization face, due to you slobs slinging “Angry Birds” across one of our high resolution touch screens. And while I can’t take it with me, I’ll make sure none of you can have it when I’m gone. Adios, mo-fo’s…”

New Apple CEO Tim Cook states that the destruction of all Apple products may take some time to roll out, and he asks that people “update iTunes” to ensure you will have your products destroyed in a timely fashion.

Apple stock plummeted to a penny, because Wall Street is run by jumpy assholes…

Posted in Technology | No Comments »

Matt Bova: Renaissance Man

Tuesday, August 9th, 2011

Invented the term "hipster" before it was cool...

(Editor’s note: The first taker of the Tommunisms “Pay for Play” challenge has stepped forward with a cash donation. As a result, I have taken my payola and made sure it went to a worthy cause: ~~myself~~ the Buffalo Animal Shelter. So now, time for some great coverage of someone who truly deserves it (or at least has the receipt to prove such a claim). Want to pay me for positive coverage? Check out the article here that will give you all the details on my lack of scruples)

What is the definition of “Renaissance Man”? Is it someone who is limitless in their capacity for development, whose thirst for self-betterment is only matched by their desire to seek the betterment of all humankind? If that is the case, then WNY had been blessed to have had the opportunity to know a true polymath, Math Bova.

(more…)

Posted in Paid for Play | No Comments »

This Post Available

Monday, August 8th, 2011

Cha-ching! Cha-ching! Ba-Bling! Ba-Bling!

Full disclosure time at Tommunisms: my hobby of a website isn’t a money maker. Sure, the occasional person who clicks on a google ad on tommunisms.com helps defer my hosting costs, and while I don’t promote the few t-shirt designs available from The Tommunist Gift Shop (including the expanded “Buffa-Load” line: with 9 different t-shirt designs!) I may have cleared a hundred bucks last year. Chump change, for sure.

(more…)

Posted in Advertising, Money, Site News | No Comments »