Morrie's Wigs Don't Come Off!
WTF?! Newsbites returns, with some more headscratchers; just don’t knock off your ridiculous toupee in the process!
HAND GETS STUCK IN POOPER
Phone in the toilet: just like AT&T's service! Zing!
The dangers of textng while driving are well known, but what about sitting on the pot? Lu Lei was in a stall in Xi’an, China, texting her friend when her cell phone fell into the toilet. The teen decided to fish it out, but got her hand stuck. Embarrassing enough, so she was reluctant to call for help. After EIGHT hours, she finally decided help would be appreciated, so she started screaming. That got the attention of rescue workers, who after four additional hours, got her free after knocking down the stall walls, breaking the concrete around the loo. No mention of what type of toilet, but from the pictures, it could have been the Chinese “Squat” Toilet, which is basically a hole in the ground…
Have a seat...
GHOST TRAIN MAKES STOP FOR STUPID MAN
There’s a legend about a train in Charlotte, North Carolina: On Aug 27, 1891, a train wreck occured that killed 2 dozen people. Legend says the ghost train can be heard on the anniversary. But it wasn’t a ghost train that 29-year-old Christopher Kaiser heard as he waited at a trestle with his friends, but a real train that sent the group of ghost hunters running to clear the tracks. Everybody but Kaiser made it, and he was hit by the train and thrown into the ravine. Looks like he got his ticket punched; I’m sure his friends will try to ask him NEXT year…
YOU CAN’T KEEP A GOOD BAD POLITICIAN DOWN
Rug-ged...
Speaking of trainwrecks, why do these politicians keep getting second chances?! Meet James Traficant, former congressman from Ohio (and he’s a Democrat, so no bias claims here!). Representing Ohio’s 17th district, he was known for his bad sense of fashion (check out the denim suit he’s sporting in the photo), eccentric speeches on the floor, and wearing a dead raccoon on his head, like a modern day Davey Crockett, or perhaps a Tribble, as he often used the Trekkie phrase “Beam me up” in his speeches.
In 2002, Traficant was indicted on charges of taking bribes, filing false tax returns, racketeering, and forcing his aides to perform chores at his farm in Ohio and on his houseboat in Washington, D.C. Wisely, James decided to represent himself, and was convicted of ten felony counts on Tax Day, April 15th, 2002. Congress expelled him. He was released last September, got a radio job (again, why do these criminals get radio shows?!) and decided to run again as an independent for his old seat. And he may just have enough petition signatures to actually run! I can’t wait to see both his and his opponents’ commercials about him.
POLITICAL SHAFT…ER… SHIFT IN OPINION POLLS
Heh hehehehehehehehehe
Political website FiveThirtyEight uses statistics to point out the trends in U.S. politics. When it comes support for gay marriage, it looks like America has come to a head. Literally. No evidence of innuendo on the article behind the chart at all, except for perhaps this line: “One caveat is that LOESS regression tends to be fairly sensitive on the endpoints“. Sometimes, a picture is worth a thousand words, but that doesn’t answer what all those spots on the penis graph are about. If you have the same “data points” on your head, please consult a physician or statistician…