Hi, everydoggie!
In the fallout of the Niagara SPCA debacle (which saw Executive Director and bean-counter John Faso fired due to the organization’s poor euthanasia and care standards) an interim Exec has been named. And this time, he’s a real veterinarian, or at least he says so…
Yes, there will be breast puns...
The Susan G. Komen for the Cure Foundation announced late today that they will immediately suspend all funding related to breast cancer research, treatment and awareness, and will instead focus on what they do best, raising money.
Buffalo's Own Scajaquada Sam
Happy Groundhog Day, everybody! Last year, Tommunisms told you the story about Buffalo’ own “Scajaquada Sam”. Few people know that Scajaquada Sam (who is currently barred from entering his latest burrow in North Tonawanda’s Valenti’s Restaurant) was the victim of intellectual theft. He originally came up with the concept of predicting the length and severity of winter right here in WNY, only to have it stolen by Punxsutawney Phil. I’d link to the WNYMedia article, but their archive blew up. So I linked to the content scrapers Buffalo123 here.
Since Sam had been evicted, he has been currently staying in one of the crappy Buffalo hotels that Tom Brady hates and was reportedly drinking all the liquor bottles in the mini fridge. So, at approximately 2:00 am this morning, Sam staggered outside to look for his shadow. But because it was night time, he didn’t see his shadow. So what does that mean? Why, it obviously means that Occupy Buffalo doesn’t get six more weeks to do whatever it is that they do. Buffalo Mayor Byron Brown, who religiously follows the tweets of Scajaquada Sam, saw his drunken update, and ordered police to bulldoze the “tent city” erected in Niagara Square.
Says Sam:
“I’m sick of this crappy one horse (porno) town. Dreary skies, bad weather, a hotel that’s not what you’re used to, and hippies doing jam sessions in tent encampments. It just doesn’t give a great impression, so I’m moving to Florida. I’ll do my shadow watching for Buffalo remotely. Worked for Larry Norton, afterall…
At that point, Sam passed out…
If there's something weird, and it don't look good, who ya gonna call?
Time for a little dose of “WTF?!” this Friday. Double babies, double vaginas, and eating babies round out this edition of “What the Friday?!”…
Tommunisms will not be posting an article today. You may think this is in solidarity of the Anti-SOPA movement, but it’s really just laziness. You, however, don’t have to be lazy. Tell Congress “Don’t break the internet, morons!” and sign a quick Google petition.
Never grow old, never die, and always eat oatmeal
As Wilford Brimley tells us, diabetes is no laughing matter. However, when the Queen of Butter and all around food pornographer Paula Deen is about to come out of the DIABEETUS closet (reports The Daily) it’s a bit amusing.
And as always, she’ll be peddling a product, this time, a drug from Novartis.
Ironic? Yes, deliciously so, probably due to the excess butter…
